Thursday, May 29, 2008
It is springtime and everything is blooming, full of life, nature is at its best in the Swedish countryside.
While bees are getting very busy, I try to be useful, amusing myself creating little improvements for the boat, adding my little touch knowing that soon it will be our home. Well... I have to come to peace with the fact that I do not have a home anymore, but rather share someone's else home, so I should restrain my ''little touch''....
Leaving always represents the same challenge to one'self :
that of daring
... I always considered myself lucky to have untie the dock lines a long time ago at an age where materialism was not an issue. I had nothing, so that was quite easy. When I started to get a little more confortable in my 40 footer ketch, fate gave me a slap. I lost everything in a wreck including my only home. Like little ants, we built another boat, bigger. But having learned a lesson, we gathered less in this 50 foot sloop than in the ketch. So when my life wrecked another time (only my life, not the boat...) it was easy to live out of my backpack. A habit I kept and that helped me through some other rougher times. But I know how hard it is or must be to let go, to untie the lines. This time, ironically, I share the feeling with my companion, helping him go through this strange time of parting with ''real life''. Me who never experienced that ! It feels like I have to start all over again, adding new experiences to my life which has been already quite rich in all kind of excitments. Sometimes, I wonder what kind of help can I give, surely not advices.
Should I be the little spark which keeps the fire going ? But what keeps this spark going in the first place ? I have it in me I guess, the only thing I really treasure : my adventurous spirit. I know if I loose it, I loose myself. Someone said : Eliminate something superfluous from your life. Break a habit, do something that makes you insecure...Is that my life motto ? So here again, at the first steps of a new adventure, starting all over again. But may be not, it is a continuation. May be I have to experience everything to understand how lucky I have been, how lucky I am, how fullfilling my life is...